Three on Thursday: Life Verses

So I've heard so much talk about "life verses" lately that I thought I would share a few of mine. The thing that bothers me about this whole idea, however, is that as long as God is my LIFE, then all of the verses should be my life verses, right? But for fun, here are the three verses I tend to reference more than others, and a little bit about why I love them - my "This-Season-in-My-Life Verses", if you will. These are not the verses I turn to when I need direction in parenting or when I feel I have missed the mark. These are the verses that feed my soul when the weight of motherhood seems to much to bear, the verses I privately repeat to myself before I fall deep into believing that "I" should fix something. These verses are written on my heart right now, in this chaotic, beautiful, self-denying season that is motherhood:

1. Ecclesiastes 8:15
This is by far my go-to verse for this season. I read through Ecclesiastes last summer and it about had me clapping in my kitchen a few times. This verse means so much to me. It means that when I feel like I'm not doing enough, or that I'm not challenged enough, or when homeschooling is TOO MUCH, or when the sight of yet another load of dishes or laundry has me feeling unseen or lonely...well, this is the one I repeat to myself.

2. Psalm 143:8
I love all of Psalm 143, but this verse in particular reminds me of the refreshing love that God is. Like a beautiful sunrise, His love is consistent and unfailing and I can trust in Him to be there with each bad-mommy moment, each day that I am "too busy", and each new morning, now and forever. My typical "quiet time" is right before the sun rises, and because of that, I usually catch the sun rise while I'm thinking or praying over what I've read. My house is still quiet, my kids are asleep, and it's just me and God. I've always felt like the sunrise is a special little moment between God and I, and so this verse holds a deep meaning.

3. 1 John 3:1
I have always identified with this verse, and love the power it holds to remind me of who I am - a child of God. However, now with children of my own, I understand the first part of this verse, and how DEEP a love it truly is. This verse is one my heart sings in the GOOD moments. When I see my kids across the room and I am beaming with joy, I remind myself that I have that love because I am filled with the one who loved ME that way first.

What verses do you find yourself turning to most often? If you have questions or need a listening ear, please contact me through the sidebar.

See ya Monday :)

We Bear the Image...

This morning my reading lead me through 1 Corinthians 15 and 16. I could have highlighted this passage again and again if it were possible. I had sadly only read 1 Corinthians in bits and pieces, through chunks of memorized verse and tidbits of preaching. It's worth the few days it takes to read, that's for sure. Many hidden treasures. Not going to give my thoughts on this passage, but rather, just share. Such a good way to start the day! 

If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. ⁴⁵ So it is written: “The first man Adam became a living being”; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit.⁴⁶ The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual.⁴⁷ The first man was of the dust of the earth; the second man is of heaven.⁴⁸ As was the earthly man, so are those who are of the earth; and as is the heavenly man, so also are those who are of heaven. ⁴⁹ And just as we have borne the image of the earthly man, so shall we bear the image of the heavenly man.

⁵⁰ I declare to you, brothers and sisters, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. ⁵¹ Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— ⁵² in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. ⁵³ For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. ⁵⁴ When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”

⁵⁵ “Where, O death, is your victory?
    Where, O death, is your sting?”

⁵⁶ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. ⁵⁷ But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 15:45-57

The Aluminum Foil Situation

You know that silly moment that you wait for as a woman? When another woman recognizes all that you juggle so perfectly and says "How do you do it all?!"

That is a BAD moment for me! I never want to hear that phrase again. That phrase symbolizes my "Martha moment" - as in Martha from Luke 10:38-42

See, Martha and Mary were sisters. I believe that Martha was the typical older sister - neat , organized , and hospitable. Her sister Mary being the "free spirit" of the two , as is typical of a younger sister. This describes my sister and I perfectly , so I totally relate to this story!

Martha and Mary were hosting Jesus in their home. Martha was busy with the prep work , and Mary simply sat at the feet of Jesus , intently listening to all he had to say. This really bothered Martha and so she publicly asked Jesus to tell Mary to get up and help her - by the way , this is my 1 AM paraphrase of the story. Jesus replied to this by telling Martha that her sister had in fact "Chosen what is better". Ouch.

I have always read this literally , but thanks to my women's ministry class today , I understand the depth of it a bit more. See , Jesus probably didn't mean that Martha was wrong by preparing food instead of physically touching Jesus , but rather that she had the wrong attitude. Somebody had to set the table. Somebody had to prepare the beds. For goodness sake , SOMEBODY had to COOK! Martha was a gifted hostess , but it was a lapse in attitude that was the problem , not the fact that she was keeping busy. Her sister's physical presence at the feet of Jesus was her form of worship. Martha's functioning within her gift was also an act of worship - it was her attitude that was the problem.  We are all created by the Lord to function differently , so that we can be one complete church. We all have different spiritual gifts , and therefore the act of sitting at the feet of Jesus looks different in the lives of each of us, however it is the attitude of worship as our motive that causes it all to work together.

I want my spiritual gift to be hospitality. I almost force it. But the reality is that it's just not how the Lord created me. Time and time again I take the test provided by the church and I come up with the same answer : Faith. Sometimes my worship does not consist of physical actions , but rather private prayer , conversation , and excitement and trust in the Lord. Just like Martha , I cannot expect to force others to worship the same way I do , and I cannot judge others when they do not have the same vision and trust that I have , as they are gifted differently. The way I worship the Lord looks different than the way my husband does. He could grab his guitar and head downtown , play music with the homeless men that sit in front of the park , and come back with as much excitement as I would have from private worship.

I am quick to push the Lord out when my head is filled with other ideas and tasks , partly because I believe that , like all other "gifts" , the gift of Faith requires much cultivation to grow. In our class this morning we even talked about how something as silly as needing to write down "aluminum foil" on the grocery list can distract us from time with God. We have to spend time with the Lord in order for Him to feed us spiritually.

I have a very dear friend who in a sense thinks the way that I do. We had the opportunity to have a "girls night after party" tonight at Starbucks , heading there to chit chat after official girls night had ended. And then when we got kicked out of Starbucks upon closing , we continued the conversation in the parking lot - for over two hours. What a blessing it is to have friends who desire first to serve the Lord. She helped me see that unless something fits into the "God - Husband - Kids" arena, I do not HAVE to commit to it. So now when a friend utters that phrase "How do you do it?!" it means that I have devoted so much energy to other things that may as well be dead works , because I have not taken the time to sit at the feet of my savior.

As mothers and wives , don't we feel the need to fill our time with "meaningful" things like charity and service? Maybe we have it backwards. I don't think we can truly serve until we take some time to just sit. Listen. Worship. However that may look in your life.

Sarai and the Modern Wife

In my women's ministry, we are studying the book Twelve Extraordinary Women, and this week before class, we were to read the story of Abram and Sarai (who later became Abraham and Sarah), found in Genesis 12-23. As I sat reading about Sarah, who is referred to at times as "the most faithful woman in the bible", The Lord revealed a few "pieces" of the story that didn't relate to me until I became a wife.

1 Peter 3:5-6 mentions Sarah as an example for women of a submissive wife, and she WAS. She honored her husband through and through. From walking 350 miles across the desert to respecting her husband as he gave away their "good" land, and whipping up a meal for three strangers (read the story), she was truly a great example for us ladies.

Here are the three lessons I took away from the story of Abraham and Sarah

1) Women are persuasive, but not always right
I was talking to my friend Sunday about how thankful we were that our husbands carry the burden of decision making, rather than us. We were talking about how our "spaghetti brain" can take a simple thought or decision and turn it into a major spiritual war. Women were not made simple minded, that's for sure. A "black or white" decision for my husband would be a week long battle of the mind for me. But at the same time, my friend and I both agreed that we feel like we have wisdom to throw into the decision making mix. This is true. In fact, before God even CREATED Eve, he described her as "helper". I had a serious attitude with my husband the other night, and I sensed that my arguing wasn't getting a rise out of him. Now, let me say that I don't typically argue for the sake of making my husband angry. . . but hey, we've all been there, right?

. . . please say yes.

Anyway, when I got in bed that night, I asked him why it wasn't bothering him, and he said "Well, I've just realized that you know how to manipulate me, and I'm not going to let it happen anymore."

Ugh! Suckerpunch to the gut. It's so TRUE. I have known for a long time now that manipulation and persuasion is a special little talent I hold dearly within my marriage, but hearing that it is known to someone besides me. . . ouch. It got me thinking - within many marriages and relationships, it's clear that I am not the only woman who struggles with this. Biblically, there's always the the obvious Adam and Eve example, but I saw it within Sarah and Abraham's story as well. . . Hagar, anyone?


2) Don't let FEAR overcome your FAITH
It is always somewhat encouraging to hear that someone "great" also struggled at times. I think that being able to sit with someone who is facing a challenge in life and say "I've been there before, too" is one of the greatest encouragements we can offer someone. I believe there were times that Sarah was truly afraid.

Twice, Abraham and Sarah went by "brother and sister" rather than "husband and wife" for fear of Abraham being killed to obtain his beautiful wife (Genesis 12:10-20 and Genesis 20:1-18). And the bible actually uses the word "afraid" in Genesis 18:15 when Sarah lies to the three visitors about laughing. At this point, Abraham was already promised many offspring (Genesis 15:5), and was also promised protection (Genesis 12:2-3).

How true is this in our lives? The Lord has promised us so much, yet we all too often let fear get in the way of our faith. I wonder what Sarah must have thought as she looked back on her life, now a great Matriarch. I all too often wish that I could see the end results of God's work in my life. But that's not the point of faith, now, is it?

3) God's timing is typically NOT our timing
We've all heard it - Proverbs 19:21 - "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails". Well, yeah, that about sums it up. . .

That, simply stated, should be my motto in life. I am a woman. I like to be in control. I like to know the next step, and when possible, I like to talk it ALL into my own hands. Once again, Hagar, anyone? Sarah took matters into her own hands, and what came from it? Jealousy, taunting, and the first of many cases of polygamy in the bible. While my fleshly desire to control may not have such enormous consequences, it is still not a Godly characteristic that I am modeling for my children.

In the case of Sarah and Abraham, God's timing was unmistakably HIS timing. Sarah was NINETY years old when she bore Isaac, and Abraham was one hundred. God's power was put on full display by having Sarah wait so long. In fact, Sarah says in Genesis 21:6-7 “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.” And she added, “Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age.”. 

How many times have I declared on my own "I will never" or "That could never" or "It's impossible"? Well, how many times has the Lord proven me wrong?! My favorite verse to repeat in times of trial, fear, or (mostly) doubt is Jeremiah 32:27 - straight to the point

"I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?"

HE will write my story, I will trust HIM, and HE decides when it will happen. and HIS majesty will be on display because of it.




Thank you, Lord, for giving me a husband who speaks truth and relies on you. Thank you for forgiving me when I lack faith in you. May I be a vessel to display your marvelous works.

Joseph's Dream Coat Craft

We are studying the story of Joseph and his dreams this week. This craft is too cute to not share a little earlier than Friday!

Fold a piece of white construction paper like so:

Flip it over and draw the following outline on back, then cut along the lines

Write your verse inside. We chose Genesis 50:19-20, but you could also choose a verse on forgiveness, protection, etc.

Cut colored strips of paper and have kids glue along front with a glue stick

Voila!

All This from a Cellophane Bag

Today was one of those days. You know, where a lot of bad things and a lot of good things happen and you're not quite sure how to label it as a whole...

Well tonight, I choose to focus on the good. But not before I explain the bad! We threw $50 out the window. I mean that literally. More like off the top of the car. Regardless. I also called Blockbuster to inform them that I had lost their DVD, got charged an additional $30, found it two minutes later (after a week of searching), only to be told it was too late, and that I already owned it...

Honesty...the best policy, aye?

Moving on.

Our schooling day was interrupted when my husband walked through the door with not one, but TWO bouquets. This is not abnormal for him. He cant pass the flowers without getting some for both of his girls. He wants to make sure his sweet little princess knows how to be treated one day.

 I just love how she lit up this time though. She grabbed his hand and took him to my vase cupboard and they sat there for a couple of minutes picking the perfect vases for each bouquet. She carried them over to me to have me cut the stems at the sink, and then picked the best spot in the house to display them. She walks up to them every few minutes now and grabs each jar (as my heart stops) off of the table and smells them, talks about how daddy got them for her (and me, but who cares, right?), and goes on and on. That had me thinking - what an honor to not only be responsible for two little hearts, but also for the hearts of two that we do not yet know - their spouses.

Our pastor spoke two weeks ago about how important it is to show passion between parents. And to clarify, I don't mean that you need to grab your husband and kiss him every time a child walks into the room! What I mean is this: express love toward your husbands and wives, so that it's not a foreign concept to our children, and so that they are taught by us what a loving relationship looks like, not by peers. Actually, our pastor gave three examples of what happens when we "hide" from our kids:

1. We get "Victorian" which leads to point 2
2. It becomes defiled (since nobody embraces it, the world does) Did you know that adult bookstores outpace McDonald's 3 to1? Now that leads to point 3
3. Perversion - the world has taken a purity meant for marriage, distorted it, and created a generation of people with skewed desires - 25% of all girls become victims of abuse.

I may have drifted off point slightly, but it seemed like an appropriate time.

My kids. Right...

We were talking this morning about Titus chapter two, how it gives clear instructions to be examples to young men and women in all that we do. In my opinion, my children are never too young to be considered heirs to the throne. What we say to them and model for them reflects on us as parents, sure. But more importantly, it affects their habits, thoughts, and adult decisions. For the first time in my life, I prayed for their spouses tonight. I prayed that nothing would happen to them to taint their love for Christ. That they are being raised to honor my kids now, even before they know them. That their parents understand the weight of their role in MY kids lives, and that my husband and I consider them in all that we do when raising our children to marry them one day.

Lord, in the blink of an eye, these two bouquets will be one. Reach the hearts now of the man and woman who will pick up where Mommy and Daddy leave off.

For the Parents of TODDLERS!!!

Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior's fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don't stand a chance against you;
you'll sweep them right off your doorstep.

-Psalm 127:3-5 (The Message)

I was talking to my sister a couple nights ago. She is pregnant with her second child, a girl. Any day now her and I will each have 2 children, one boy, one girl. She mentioned how it bothers her when people ask her if she knows what shes having, and then proceed to say "Oh, one of each, now you can stop!" as if two is all she wants.

Shifting slightly, let me admit - I truly, 100%, don't care what you think, just LOVE the Duggars. In case you don't know who they are, they are the "crazy-mormon-catholic-amish-weird family on TLC with 19 kids"...actually they are a cute big southern Baptist family from Arkansas, but who's judging?

See, most people today see kids as right of passage, a product of hormones, a chapter of life, or simply...just what you do when you get married. In recent days I have heard way too many lines such as "I can't wait until my kids are out of the house, then I can really live!" or "man, I really can't wait to get some sleep at night", and "Oh honey, just wait, motherhood isnt all it's cracked up to be" etc. And sidenote for the lady behind me at Publix...I know I have a long road ahead, thank you!

But lately I have been praying for The Lord to help me see my present blessings rather than envision future ones. His revelation to me has been an extremely emotional experience. When my son woke up in the middle of the night crying for hours and would only sleep on my chest (he is NOT a little thing), my husband told me the next day that I literally prayed out loud and said "this is what heaven will be like!"

I have become aware that these cranky, tough, toddler years will become some of my favorite stories to tell my kids when they come over for a visit one day in the future. I have really started to enjoy the little messes and realize that they are little future memories.  I have started to ask myself

"What am I going to do WITHOUT my kids?"

Sweet boy turns one in two days, and as hard as I try, the ticking clock wins, yet again. I am sitting in my room next to the chair that I nursed him in this time last year, as he stared at me, the only "world" he knew. Behind me, my baby girl just fell asleep after saying her own prayers and brushing her own teeth. I watch them play together in the bathtub and wonder what it will be like when bathtime doesn't result in me ending up soaked, too. How boring will it be to see an inkpen on the ground and not search for the hidden love notes on the wall...or computer screen...or mirror...

I complain now about never having time to wash my hair, or do my makeup, or cook my own breakfast, but how will it feel when those things become my "everyday" routine?

I will miss finding fingerprints on the mirror, or bracelets in my coffee, or car keys in the treasure chest...scratch that last one :)

What I'm getting at here is this - I realize that the biggest blessings in my life are being labeled "problems" by a very selfish society, and I refuse to partake in the complaining. For you ladies who know me - hit me upside the head if you hear me utter a "you're tellin me...", or an "I can't wait until...", because the same stories that start that way today, will end with a "yeah, I miss those days..." before I even know it.

Thank you, Lord, for entrusting me with a blessing that some only dream of. Thank you for using them to teach me. Thank you for filling my days with laughter, sleepiness, and hysteria all at once. Thank you for creating me to be your child, and for turning MY messes into blessings. You truly are amazing.

#39!

Today was my sister-in-law's SURPRISE baby shower! It is also my parent's 39th wedding anniversary! Unlike many of my friends, family, and even husband, I have no pre-existing fears within my marriage, because they have given us such a strong picture of a Godly marriage. As a quick tribute to their 39 years, here are the top 10 things that I have learned from them that I apply to my life daily, whether by words or observation:

1. The Lord is the foundation of a strong marriage
2. A servant's heart will root a marriage deeper daily
3. Never correct or argue with your spouse in front of anybody. Wait until you are in private so as not to embarrass or silence them.
4. "Go ask your mom/dad" is not the answer. A united front is key.
5. Keep your finances honest...still working on that one...
6. Take time daily to remember why you VALUE your spouse.
7. Pray for them every day - their day, travels, trials, and temptations.
8. Keep it young! After 39 years, I still see my dad tickling my mom as he walks by.
9. Make your relationship with your spouse more important than that with your kids - my parent's transition from "full-house" to "empty-nesters" seemingly went off without a hitch! They enjoy each other as husband and wife, not just mom and dad!
10. Envision a SOLID future, not a SITUATIONAL one.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to two of the cutest little lovebirds around!

The Wedding Speech

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.

Philippians 2:5-7

As a wedding photographer, I've seen it all. Some dads give a sappy, tearful, goodbye to their daughters as their wedding speech. Some give an "I'll shoot you if you hurt her" type of warning. Some just reminisce about their daughter and her childhood dreams and hopes.

Not my dad.

See, I could write a whole book about what a wise and respectable man my father is. "He is the epitomy of integrity" as my sister-in-law once put it. Basically, when he speaks, you listen, because it doesn't come out much, but when it does, it's good!

I could not wait to hear what my dad had planned to say at my wedding. Was he going to embarass me and talk about how he coached my soccer team despite the fact that I never scored a single goal? Would he tell stories of our father/daughter travels to Italy, Spain, France, or Morocco? Was he going to pull out the little love notes he had hanging in his closet from me?

Nope.

He gave one line.

My dad, my running partner, world travel companion, the one who not only taught me to ride a bike, but followed through every weekend with a bike ride to the library and Dairy Queen, spoke ONE LINE at my wedding.

"Kids," he said, "The best lesson you will ever learn in life is to serve one another."

Though the words were few, they changed my life. They are the words I repeat each morning as I get out of bed, and each evening as I crawl in. I think of them as I grit my teeth, wanting to shout at my husband. I think of them as I pick the tomatoes out of his dinner, so he gets the flavor without the texture. I think of them as I pull the shorts out of the laundry that I just KNOW I've already washed. Those words scream in my head, ready to stop me when I carry a dish across the kitchen in an attempt to educate my husband on proper dish washing.

I have realized in the past few months, while my husband and I watch marriages crumble for different reasons around us, that there is one key similarity in all of them. In each divorce we see, there is at least one person not willing to serve the other.

I have recently discovered that there is a huge difference between a servant and a slave. Not a difference in the nature of the work, at times, but a difference of the heart. Some days I catch myself cursing my husband in my head as I scrub the garlic (if you don't know my husband, he over-garlics EVERYTHING) off the counter, getting angry at my kids as I throw soiled clothes in the wash (as if it's something they can control?), and wishing I had more time for my own self.

I have hung a few verses up in my "angry places" (laundry room, where the dishes pile up, etc) that remind me of what a blessing it is to be a steward.

The Lord has changed my heart from one of a slave to one of a joyful servant. Whether the little things that I do for my family get noticed or not, it's about having a heart like His, from which all blessings flow.