Monday, July 8, 2013

Idle, not Idol.

OH Proverbs 31. How it can encourage me at times and discourage me at times.

I stare at the verses and wonder who the heck she was trying to impress. Sometimes I want to jump through the pages and say "Lady, hit the spa!"

I hear older, respected women in church say in disbelief "this couldn't all be completed at once, it's a culmination of her entire life. Seasons."

It was a scary passage for me to read when I first got married, it still angers me when I feel like I just can't get it together, and yet, here I am, writing my second post on this stinking verse that sits itself directly under my blog world identity.

The majority of my time spent cleaning, cooking, prepping, etc., is spent with my heart in the wrong place. "Why does he put things where I cant reach them", "do my kids WANT to dry out every last ounce of play dough?", "Nobody sees what I do for them", "I'd rather be watching Masterchef"...

But sometimes I feel like my heart is completely in the right place. I hunker down and re-prioritize my life. I say "I" but you know what I is truly "HIM" doing it.

In turn, my distractions are aside, my schedule is predictable, and usually my cell phone is dead. My kids are behaving, Jesus hands me down a little extra portion of patience, and my husband thinks that even the way I microwave oatmeal is amazing. Attitude is everything, right? I am not only able, but WILLING to prep life the day before, fold laundry, write encouraging notes to my husband, sneak goodies in my kid's packed lunches, and stay up the extra ten minutes it takes to do the dishes just because I know it will make my husband happy. My desires turn into God's desires for my life. In verse 13 it says that she "works with eager hands", and I believe it - it is so fulfilling as a woman to see the impact that my willingness to submit to the Lord's plan for my life can have on my family.

I say all of that to come to this: for all of the times I look at that chapter with fear, there are a few times when it really clicks with me, and I look at it from a completely different perspective - what this lady DIDN'T do vs. what bible wonder woman DID.
Verse 27: She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

For some reason, I always read that as "idol" rather then "idle". Now I get it. Here's the dictionary definition of "idleness":

1. To pass time without working or while avoiding work.
2. To move lazily and without purpose.
DUH! OK, now I know why this lady got stuff DONE. She didn't get on facebook (guilty!), she didn't want to call any and everyone to avoid her work (guilty!), and she didn't make excuses (triple guilty!).  
I believe that every man is tempted every day. It's pretty obvious by the things I see just walking through the mall, or driving on the highway, or the pop ups on my computer. But for women? Geez Louise, some of our temptations are so disguised. Idleness, laziness. I never thought about the warning that Proverbs 31 carried, or the impact it could have on my husband and children. My husband? He's a one hit wonder in the kitchen. He can cook spaghetti noodles. Literally, that is all, bless his heart. He eats fast food if I don't pack a lunch for him. And laundry? SHEESH. There was honestly a sign hanging in the laundry room that said "Honey. DO. NOT. TOUCH." because everything, EVERYTHING that he touches in the laundry room turns out red, or blue, or speckled, or develops holes. Or mildew. Or disappears...
Anyway, what I'm getting at here is this: when I am aware of the temptation that comes with being a woman running a home, I am far more likely to pray for the strength to resist it, to think twice before complaining about chores, or to shove household duties on my exhausted man.
And listen, I am almost 20 weeks pregnant. I am not hop skipping and jumping around my laundry room with a smile on my face. But when I sit down at the end of my day, in not only MY, but my kids clean house, my husband's clean house, my family's clean house, with two sleeping secure kids upstairs, and a respected and proud husband ready for bed watching "American Guns" (I'm out of creative thoughts, that's actually what he's doing right now...) I am tired, but fulfilled. I am wiped, but I KNOW my purpose. I don't wonder if or how I contribute to my family. I am thankful. And most importantly I am sure as heck eagerly looking forward to another day.
Thank you, God, for revealing yourself to me and speaking your truth into my heart. Thank you for showing me where the enemy is prowling in my day to day life at home. Thank you for the impact this will have on my family. Thank you for blessing me with a role that blesses others. And give me strength to resist the temptation of idleness.

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